Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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