ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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