Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
