what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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