Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize