shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
