One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
