playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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