Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
