I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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