if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
