i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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