hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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