I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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