Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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