there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
