just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
