9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize