OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
