3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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