hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
