Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
