I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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