Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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