i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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