this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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