wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
