when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
