This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
soo... how was my night?
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