I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
