i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
