I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it's like iHOP with fire
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
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