i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
