I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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