I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
