i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
