As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
