I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
handjob tips. give me some.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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