I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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