Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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