He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
