You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
