Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
