JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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