i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
