Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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