I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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