My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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