Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
