im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
