Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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