Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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