If that was your dad, he is hot
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
