East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My balls are so social today.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize