We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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