FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
