Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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