i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
